(the following has taken several days to put together, only because some days the throbbing pain was less severe. Of course I know there are much worse things in life, but constant, chronic pain, no matter the cause, is turning this normally docile submissive into the demon from The Exorcist.)
Migraines are such a horrible pain in the ass to have to put up with. Oh, I see a doctor, and he sees me. Over the last 25 years we’ve tried every medicine known to man, and then some. And still these little buggers persist. Don’t let the fact that I just used the word “little” in connection with these monsters fool you. My most recent one lasted for about 6, 7, 8, make that 9*days now, so far. It’s getting better, so I keep trying to tell myself. *As of the morning of the 7 8 9th day, I take that back. Every fucking morning it’s back with a vengeance.
If you’ve ever had a migraine, you understand what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, consider yourself lucky. Just please, don’t be like one of the women I work for who thinks headaches are the part of the over reactive imagination of the weak trying to get out of work (and that is NOT me). Normally, I wouldn’t wish a migraine on another living soul, but in extreme circumstances, I could see myself making at least one exception… (evil grin, if it didn’t hurt so much to move facial muscles)
I have a prescription that I take when I feel one coming on, but my insurance will only pay for 9 a month. 9 pills for a 30 day period. Even the label tells you that you might have to take two in a 24 hour period. I’ll wait while you do the math. Suffice it to say, I have more migraines than pills. So I probably don’t take them like I should, because I try to save them for in case the next one is worse than the one I’m having at the moment, until the one I’m having at the moment becomes worse, and then I take the stupid pill, and by then it’s too late for one pill to have much effect. There’s ya a “Catch-22″. If I really took them at the onset of one, I’d have at least 21 days to get through with no pills left.
Sometimes I get what they call “auras” before the migraine takes over. They range from odd zigziaggy things and white dots & flashes to black blotches (to call them spots or dots would not encompass their unlimited expanding capability) that block my vision. These can grow from barely noticeable to blocking more than half of my field of vision. I’ve always had “floaters” in my eyes, so I didn’t really pay lots of attention when these new things started popping up.
Not only do I get these weird visual disturbances, my sense of smell goes into overdrive, just when I need it to essentially shut down for the duration (some odors can trigger a migraine, some seem to make it wo
rse as well).
Not everyone gets visual auras, and those of us that do, don’t get them every time. When I first came across these pictures, I couldn’t believe someone was able to express this so well.
Sometimes I also get flashing white lines. And my sense of smell is increased, usually so I won’t have to miss a single, solitary nauseating odor that normally I wouldn’t even notice. Swell. Sometimes my speech is effected. Words may come out all jumbled, even if I can remember it. I get even more dyslectic.
There are a number of things you can do to try to prevent one from coming on, but from what I’ve read, there really is no tried & true hard evidence that anything really works. Even so, there are a lot of triggers that I avoid. I don’t like to tempt fate. That’s one mean Master I do NOT want to cross paths with if at all possible.
At t
he top of my food pyramid, the main one that I miss more than mere mortals can imagine, is Chocolate. Rich, smooth, creamy deep dark chocolate. Oh God (Yes, I am reacting to the thought of chocolate almost as much as I do to a real orgasm). Sometimes I do have to take matters into my own hands, force feed my husband a bite or two of chocolate just so I can smell his breath.
I seriously doubt that anyone that doesn’t have a vice with the word “aholic” connected to it could truly understand what it’s like for a chocoaholic to give up chocolate. I think I can almost reach “sub space” just from inhaling that 
intoxicating scent. Some other foods I no longer eat are cheddar, swiss or cheese of bleu. I’ve given up onions, hot dogs, lunch-meats. Red wines were never a big ticket item with me, so I don’t even notice the absence of that one. I adore Chinese food, just be sure it’s MSG free.
Sourdough bread. I limit my caffeine intake. Oh, and Chocolate. Did I mention chocolate? Too much sleep/not enough sleep. Alcoholic beverages. Perfumes & colognes, from the cheap to the absurd (including hand creams & aftershaves, even clothes detergents, for Christ’s sake!). Not enough sex** (**we interrupt this blogcast to bring you this important bulletin: she just made that up) (oh well, it was worth a shot). Barometric pressure (weather changes). If it’s too sunny. If it’s too cloudy. If you’re wearing blue. If your best friend’s next door neighbor’s brother-in-law’s cousin knew someone once that thought they had a migraine. Perhaps you get the idea.
There are triggers galore. But no one person’s triggers are the same as another person. You might have a few of the same, but some people can still enjoy certain things, while others can not (did I mention Chocolate?).
The thing that pisses me off the most is that even though I only get 9 pills a month, they usually do help. And during this last NINE days, they’ve worked for the day I took them, but then it’s back the next morning. I’ve never had it this bad or last this long. If I didn’t think the after effects would be just as bad as the current condition, I’d have enough Sangria to knock me out.
I need your touch.
